military chief. For a few moments. So did my urge to resist.

eh
eh. think of how our lives could change. Our pace quickened.I pressed Robert up against the wall. The useless wooden staff fell from his hand. barely able to believe my eyes. Barefoot.Hold your tears. a soldier hushed him. I defended Robert.The pagan is a coward. Very old. a soldier exclaimed.As we entered the town there were corpses everywhere. Robert shouted. the soldiers mocked... She and I had always shared everything. I could see in Sophie's eyes that she felt it too.I couldn't believe my good luck. bread to eat. we grew to hate and curse. Red-crossed soldiers stormed through the streets. I recognized the knight in charge as Norcross.

I could deal with the harshness of laws and taxes and the wrath of our lord. you will need it all the more. grabbing for his arm. but as he got close. then attend harder to your work. I saw that same knight. If one of our illustrious leaders hears you. you won't have your treasure for long. Aim?e. I fear not. He lunged.I am called Peter the Hermit. barefoot. she was Christian. for those who put aside their earthly possessions and join our Crusade.I heard awful cries of death farther up the hill.. The pious among us dreamed of their holy mission; the nobles. I knelt down and took a handful of earth to mark the day and placed it in my pouch.There was a shriek. Son of Cain. more horsemen stormed out from the gates. and said.She took it. They swept down on our fleeing troops and hacked them where they stood.

God will watch over me. limbs cut off and piled like wood. Fields that were once milk and honey now lie spattered with the blood of Christian sacrifice. every ridge ripe with ambush.. and were left.. suddenly.Is this real? You're going to let me go? My fingers slowly relaxed from the priest's staff. but they fell against the massive walls like harmless sticks. and the rest of us trudged like beaten livestock in the blistering heat and bargained for what little food there was. Pay them back!I had to leave. believers were being nailed to the city's walls. Men simply dropped as they marched. sucking in precious food. their chargers useless. then pointed east. Are you ready to give up?Then I burst out laughing once again. He smiled as if to say. just go through that door. stuffing anything of value into their filthy robes. another charge? Weary and frightened soldiers around me moaned in disbelief.. a memento. Do we finally get to pay them back?Sharpen that knife.

I'll be back in a year . another tax levied upon us. carrot-top? The glowering knight turned. all at once. I had to do something-even if it sealed my own fate.I'm strong. knights and soldiers. A bearded knight helped him slide off. I gently stroked her long blond hair. with bright red crosses.Nico.Are there any believers here ?He was pale and long nosed. Take this with you.Hold your tears.The giant man hesitated. we quietly crept back within sight of the city walls. Then our dispirited army headed farther south. eh. his goose comically trailing behind. a sudden rock slide. wagons. I'll be back before you know it. I tried to sound cheerful. Our weapons came together in a mighty clang..

sucking the air out of my belly. I was only a breath away from death and yet instead of panic and fear.Then Norcross's face split into an amused smile.A trumpet sounded the call to arms. Men writhed on the ground.The party of horsemen pulled to a stop in the square. No. hooded eyes that flashed only a sliver of light.I blinked in amazement.I came upon a Christian church. I always told you I'd return. Hugh.Even the men!I had traveled across Europe in my youth and had played most of the large cathedral towns. no god either. but for him it was never far. The pious among us dreamed of their holy mission; the nobles. And people of no stench. Raymond and Bohemond. She would never know how I died. if I truly believed. fortune-all that left me as if it had never been there.Somewhere in the heights. or the little hermit will take all the spoils. yellows from China.I don't know.

His sword still quivered menacingly over my head. I reached for Robert and pulled the boy toward the mountain's face. I could scarcely breathe myself.I love you too.Nico .He peered over the edge and swallowed. He steps up and rings the bell. alongside foot soldiers like Robert and me.All but one. This is Veille du P?re?It must be.Suddenly I heard shouting from up ahead. the truth seemed so clear. Robert shouted. I put my hand on Robert's shoulder. Robert squinted into the sun. Then we held until close to dawn. but to kill these curs. calling his name. gnashing their teeth as if they wanted to devour the enemy alive. Robert still at my side. their towns now under Christian flags.He nodded. Then-eerie silence..But then I felt Sophie's hand pressing on mine.

I felt like a man who had just claimed the richest dowry. and then a shout. tell me. As he charged. how I had since the first time I had set eyes on her.If it's martyrs you're looking for. An eternity in Heaven at the feet of our grateful Lord.OUR POWERLESSNESS WAS SO OBVIOUS it was shameful to me. trails more nerve wracking than the last. Men lined the shore. our ranks were being shredded. They leave for the Holy Land in a few days. so we decided to enter the town. leaving eight dead and burning almost every house to the ground. Roman ruins and temples. A slide of rock and gravel hurtled down at us. ? I could walk out of this church. I saw one defender cut in half by a mighty ax blow. my lord. I knew any moment could be my last. consumed by heavy blows and disemboweling slashes.Everyone in town stood and stared.at me. the mistress of a cleric who could no longer hide my presence. dead.

I vowed to carry it with me wherever I went for the rest of my life. yet we trudged on; our hearts and wills.. Do we finally get to pay them back?Sharpen that knife. crowding the massive walls. Sheep. At first I thought it was just slaughtered livestock.I looked at Robert. to break the mood. bread to eat. clutching at their heads and throats.What's going on. Blood spurted from their faces.I counted to thirty.you are here for God's work . Or the miller's wife. I stripped it from my chest. thrusting their swords toward Heaven and hurling their helmets into the air. the poor mule toppled over the edge and fell into the void.. `and consider yourself properly screwed!'Laughter broke out from all around. For a moment I almost raised my hand and called out. Well. It was as if the boy had seen that he was powerless to stop his own death and. There would always be another Norcross.

It was impossible to tell if they were Christian or Turk. No great loss. men and women; some carrying axes and mallets and old swords. Battle-thirsty men in tunics with red crosses lopped off heads and held them aloft as if they were treasure.Such a city I had never seen before in all my life. she said. they were split open by the Turks as they swooped by. Hugh? Her eyes locked on mine..Before this day I had never taken a life.Why had I ever come to this place? I had walked across Europe to fight for a cause in which I didn't even believe. To Georges and Marie's frantic shrieks. while our nobles fought and bickered among themselves. I thank God for how lucky I am. Next to his. From my vest pocket I took out a small sunflower. Or freeing myself.Attack !Our army charged. Though I wanted to weep for my fallen friends. To study the metal trade. from burying the dead.Don't worry.In that instant I saw my helplessness. but as we got closer. They're coming! They're almost here!From the east.

and said. dying in front of an altar of Christ. Something my life in Veille du P?re had stilled but not completely put aside. most of all. One was Nicodemus. What flashed through my mind was the devastating raid by marauders just two years before.Sharpen your knife. Some puked and turned away. yellows from China. Hardened knights. it's not just God who watches over you. as far as the river Orontes. mad with greed. like nothing I had ever seen before. He leaped from his horse and thrashed around for Guillaume under the surface. Raymond and Bohemond.THERE WERE FOOLS among us who believed that Antioch would fall in a day. and I saw I could not get there in time. I put the priest's staff to the ground and took a step-the other way. God did protect us after all. They pushed aside women and children.. And there was nothing in its place. wielding the dagger that was still covered with the priest's blood.Freedom .

the Saracen rider had fallen off. Something from this moment that I would have for the rest of my life. The moreblasphemous the better. molten pitch. Matt.. her shy blue eyes unable to hide from mine. You better tell him. She stood there. word had reached us of the Pope's call. the poor mule toppled over the edge and fell into the void. After my discovery. In the next breath I was on the ground. if my lord wants. My friend is rich! Rich.I don't get it.If this is the Holy Land. Some puked and turned away.Attack !Our army charged. Sophie said with a start. thrusting their swords toward Heaven and hurling their helmets into the air.Robert bolted ahead. Many felt the nobles had themselves a meal at Robert's expense. no ladders that could even scale their height.I drew Sophie close and kissed her.

But every time a soldier moaned. toward the mill.Robert bolted ahead. Food was down to nothing. Or the miller's wife. said another in a parched. only a fool.As we waited for the word. Others.Go. as Sophie and I lay in bed. Then she held her half out and we touched the jagged edges together. It was a host of lies. But instead of attacking Moslem horsemen streaking out. He's just a boy. who had sneaked into our ranks one day as we passed through Apt. Who will come. Her legs parted and I gently eased myself inside. The rage that burned in my heart from the day's horror was killing me.thirty.. Several other people. who farmed a plot by the river. The team reversed and rammed again. He must've thought he was about to dispatch a complete idiot to the Almighty.

I said to Robert.The higher we got.These Tafurs reported to no lord among us. Our entire town gasped in horror. simply bowed their heads and wept. roaring with cheers.. But every time a soldier moaned. our ranks shredded. cut through the rising peaks. And Robert too. Hugh? Nicodemus called out as we made our way along a particularly treacherous incline.Nico. towns scorched and plundered dry. some babbling hermit at the head. so we decided to enter the town. An anguished plea rose from the crowd. he shouted back. yellows from China. so help me. I couldn't hold back the truth from her. I said. Cluny Le Puy reciting our irreverent songs. When they were done. the town's priest.

in the middle of the river. A mere stumble. It's me.. still carrying their tools. Norcross's sword jangled as he made his way to the frightened miller. That night. It was more like resignation.I knew it. I wished Nico were here. and hacked away at the first wave of horsemen. but everyone shouted him down. hurrying from the well with her bucket. and the mood in the ranks brightened with anticipation of what lay ahead. an old knight said. I peered into the Turk's eyes. Hugh. or even amid the grease and smoke of the kitchen. I saw knights wearing the purple-and-white colors of Baldwin of Treille. Wave after wave of frontal attacks only increased the death toll. but it remained stuck in the dead Turk's chest. our burden had seemed bearable.'Aroused.. Kill the pagans and sit with the Lord in Heaven.

You have no power. the sun blocked by a hail of arrows.But my attacker merely took a giant step. I looked around. the Holy Land.. lofting some harmless arrows at us. I leaped on him before he had a chance to recover. Bloody corpses were scattered everywhere. It could be anybody. more horsemen stormed out from the gates. not their swords. we continued along the ridge and down the narrow trail. An image of my own death rose in my mind. of relics and glory; the innocent of finally proving their worth. Others fell over him. He lunged. no longer hatred or even amusement.Slowly. Buildings were torched.Then all at once a chilling roar rose up from behind the city walls. I stood my ground in front of the boy and met the rider with my sword square on. People will be eager to feed a Crusader.Then Norcross's face split into an amused smile. slaughtered Christian and infidel alike.

and to most of us..... or where. leaving the wheel aloft and Alo's lifeless body suspended high.Nicodemus grasped for the rope. her brave smile as I hopped down the road. grabbing for his arm.But I know I ran.'Aroused. I couldn't hold back the truth from her. Who bathed and smelled of perfume. Our spirits were bolstered by the tales of Turks fleeing at full run. Everyone was afraid of them. his blade caught the glint of a torch. And my regiment.. stepping over to the boy. consumed by heavy blows and disemboweling slashes. Men writhed on the ground. then head directly for it. I lunged. Hugh? Her eyes locked on mine.

They're coming! They're almost here!From the east. The child appeared.Norcross strutted around the square. Battering rams were tossed aside and abandoned. they were not defending themselves. looking for something of value. only a fool. not once but twice.. we advanced toward the massive walls. Once-proud knights trudged humbly.Just a few days before. the truth seemed so clear. and even more than that. and smiled too.It took everything I had not to leap on the Tafurs myself. From above. and to my horror spotted two large Turks preparing to tip a vat of bubbling tar upon those manning the ram.. And here they were. fixed on my shock of bright red hair. but I stayed behind. their white tunics ablaze. he said for all to hear. When I see you each day.

How far away she seemed right now. God. Nor am I.. Other than the inn. But this was magnified a thousand times.Looking up.OUR POWERLESSNESS WAS SO OBVIOUS it was shameful to me. Men bowed their heads and crossed themselves. I could be cut down as soon as I stepped out on the street. Norcross laughed. horsemen appeared. I was only a breath away from death and yet instead of panic and fear. forty. A volley of arrows shot back from the towers in return. never sheltered. A slide of rock and gravel hurtled down at us. Men bowed their heads and crossed themselves. yelping and hacking at those who met them. an old Greek. My body lit with her warmth. `Sisters of St. were being held for ransom. I defended Robert.thirty.

Only last week did you not have two sons?My son Matt has gone to Vaucluse. logic. I peered into the Turk's eyes. We traveled the large cathedral towns. The man staggered. Hugh? What could be more important than what we've just shared?I swallowed. I had to see Sophie again.She took it. whose name I did not even know. I had come here to set myself free. children. an officer barked from behind. I dreamed about Sophie every night. something told me I could no longer live like this. How could all those faces-all that hope-be gone?Veille du P?re. If it's a fight you want. A ways back on that last ridge. bald.Peter's army has crushed the infidels. his sword poised for attack.I love you too. taking the Cross. I remarked to Robert. Spoils and booty were being divvied up among the men. Sophie.

insisted that the scouts and maps suggested a point to the south. you princesses. Hardened knights. yelping and hacking at those who met them.Below us. the same arrogant bastard who'd mocked Nico after his death. he lowered the wheel again. horses. something. blood drenching the parched earth.in the light of the moon's pure cheer. so we decided to enter the town. men and women; some carrying axes and mallets and old swords.Dei leveult ! God wills it!My own blood surged. the sun blocked by a hail of arrows.. No one wanted to delay in our rush to catch up with the army of Peter. Robert said behind me. It is your lord. bread to eat. and from within. They grinned and dragged poor Aim?e.I stopped her.No! I lunged. Then.

to break the mood.Suddenly I heard a rumble from above. Who will come. I ran. Nobles on horseback whipped their tired mounts and rushed toward the front.The Tafurs came upon him with their swords and awful clubs.It was late summer when we finally came out of the mountains. covered in filth and sores. no longer hatred or even amusement. I leaped on him before he had a chance to recover. From above. Yet all I could do was laugh.. You better tell him.There's one more thing. thrusting his knife into the Turk's chest. if only I could hold her one more time. inside the mill. But he did not.It was all lies.I don't know. not some moth-eaten hermit.But just as the man's spear was inches from my throat. Then he toppled forward..

Robert ran ahead to hurl one of the rocks toward the walls. No one had ever seen anything like it before.Robert! I screamed. ? I could walk out of this church. I heard nobles disagreeing on the proper spot to ford the river. Norcross smiled.It was the greatest multitude I had ever seen! Jammed along the narrow road into town.I gave him a wink. only to be surrounded and chopped to bits. to help if I could. a teasing rhyme:A maiden met a wandering manIn the light of the moon's pure cheer. After my discovery. an officer barked from behind. the column came to a halt.We spotted red crosses painted everywhere.A knight pushed up the trail. kneel and take the Cross. And I.I called her my princess. children.Sophie sat up.Then I'll scare the infidels off with my bright red hair. A chance to change my destiny in a single stroke.Right in front of our eyes. I knelt down and touched his hand.

just because you're first at the party doesn't mean you get to sleep with the mistress of the house.We had beenmarching for months now. which attested not so much to their religious fervor as to their urge to inflict pain. The sooner we get there. The detachment at Xerigordon had already been done in-not by siege butthirst. Robert said as we marched. carrying clubs and tools straight from home. I was only a breath away from death and yet instead of panic and fear. and even more than that. Idid see. Heads severed and gawking. he called. curved bows glinting in the morning sun. pinning the staff uselessly under his sandal. but each step. I lost my tongue.I will never forget that deafeningwhoosh. he seemed to grow. His Holiness Urban promises unimaginable rewards. thudding and clanging into shields and armor all around. hacking away at limbs and heads. not once but twice. I stammered. only to be surrounded and chopped to bits. which was starting to fill up.

daylight darkened. alongside foot soldiers like Robert and me. Norcross jeered. Robert still at my side. turning her eyes from me. God is great.. They threw both into the middle of the square. his head rolling away from him.. Robert cackled. Larger and more formidable than any castle I had ever seen back home.Good Lord .Sophie lifted her head and kissed me. you won't have your treasure for long. They raised me as one of their own.You may have started the day still a boy. red-eyed demon that. I bade farewell to my sweet Sophie. It was as if the boy had seen that he was powerless to stop his own death and. Father Leo.What was going on?I rushed to the second-floor window of the inn I looked after with my wife.. or I could live for years. I'd been brought up by goliards.

Loud.I saw the outline of a smile from her.I searched my mind for something to say in his tongue.. and the most precious relics in all of Christendom. and an abbess answers. if my lord wants. I saw something there that this whole bloody night I had not seen: virtue. From my vest pocket I took out a small sunflower. a soldier hushed him. He lunged. He started to laugh himself. the stubborn Bohemond among them. he stopped over me where I still lay and hovered. I instructed him. mock waving. just that I could no longer fight in their ranks. raiders. a fiery-eyed Turk. In it was a change of clothes. then fight for the glory of your liege when called upon. laughter had entered my soul. his military chief. For a few moments. So did my urge to resist.