Of course the first thing to do was to make a grand survey of thecountry she was going to travel through. `It's something very likelearning geography,' thought Alice, as she stood on tiptoe in hopes ofbeing able to see a little further. `Principal rivers--there ARE none.
Principal mountains--I'm on the only one, but I don't think it's got anyname. Principal towns--why, what ARE those creatures, making honeydown there? They can't be bees--nobody ever saw bees a mile off, youknow--' and for some time she stood silent, watching one of them that wasbustling about among the flowers, poking its proboscis into them, `just asif it was a regular bee,' thought Alice.
However, this was anything but a regular bee: in fact it was anelephant--as Alice soon found out, though the idea quite took her breathaway at first. `And what enormous flowers they must be!' was her nextidea. `Something like cottages with the roofs taken off, and stalks put tothem--and what quantities of honey they must make! I think I'll go downand--no, I won't JUST yet, ' she went on, checking herself just as she wasbeginning to run down the hill, and trying to find some excuse for turningshy so suddenly. `It'll never do to go down among them without a goodlong branch to brush them away--and what fun it'll be when they ask mehow I like my walk. I shall say-- "Oh, I like it well enough--"' (herecame the favourite little toss of the head), `"only it was so dusty and hot,and the elephants did tease so!"'
`I think I'll go down the other way,' she said after a pause: `andperhaps I may visit the elephants later on. Besides, I do so want to getinto the Third Square!'
So with this excuse she ran down the hill and jumped over the firstof the six little brooks.
* * * * * * ** * * ** ** * * * * * *`Tickets, please!' said the Guard, putting his head in at the window.
In a moment everybody was holding out a ticket: they were about thesame size as the people, and quite seemed to fill the carriage.
`Now then! Show your ticket, child!' the Guard went on, lookingangrily at Alice. And a great many voices all said together (`like thechorus of a song,' thought Alice), `Don't keep him waiting, child! Why,his time is worth a thousand pounds a minute!'
`I'm afraid I haven't got one,' Alice said in a frightened tone: `therewasn't a ticket-office where I came from.' And again the chorus of voiceswent on. `There wasn't room for one where she came from. The landthere is worth a thousand pounds an inch!'
`Don't make excuses,' said the Guard: `you should have boughtone from the engine-driver.' And once more the chorus of voices went onwith `The man that drives the engine. Why, the smoke alone is worth athousand pounds a puff!'
Alice thought to herself, `Then there's no use in speaking.' Thevoices didn't join in this time, as she hadn't spoken, but to her greatsurprise, they all THOUGHT in chorus (I hope you understand whatTHINKING IN CHORUS means--for I must confess that _I_ don't),`Better say nothing at all. Language is worth a thousand pounds a word!'
`I shall dream about a thousand pounds tonight, I know I shall!'
thought Alice.
All this time the Guard was looking at her, first through a telescope,then through a microscope, and then through an opera- glass. At last hesaid, `You're travelling the wrong way,' and shut up the window and wentaway.
`So young a child,' said the gentleman sitting opposite to her (hewas dressed in white paper), `ought to know which way she's going, evenif she doesn't know her own name!'
A Goat, that was sitting next to the gentleman in white, shut his eyesand said in a loud voice, `She ought to know her way to the ticket-office,even if she doesn't know her alphabet!'
There was a Beetle sitting next to the Goat (it was a very queercarriage-full of passengers altogether), and, as the rule seemed to be thatthey should all speak in turn, HE went on with `She'll have to go back from here as luggage!'
Alice couldn't see who was sitting beyond the Beetle, but a hoarsevoice spoke next. `Change engines--' it said, and was obliged to leaveoff.
`It sounds like a horse,' Alice thought to herself. And an extremelysmall voice, close to her ear, said, `You might make a joke on that-something about "horse" and "hoarse," you know.'
Then a very gentle voice in the distance said, `She must be labelled"Lass, with care," you know--'
And after that other voices went on (What a number of people thereare in the carriage!' thought Alice), saying, `She must go by post, as she'sgot a head on her--' `She must be sent as a message by the telegraph--'
`She must draw the train herself the rest of the way--' and so on.
But the gentleman dressed in white paper leaned forwards andwhispered in her ear, `Never mind what they all say, my dear, but take areturn-ticket every time the train stops.'
`Indeed I shan't!' Alice said rather impatiently. `I don't belong tothis railway journey at all--I was in a wood just now --and I wish I couldget back there.'
`You might make a joke on THAT,' said the little voice close to herear: `something about "you WOULD if you could," you know.'
`Don't tease so,' said Alice, looking about in vain to see where thevoice came from; `if you're so anxious to have a joke made, why don't youmake one yourself?'
The little voice sighed deeply: it was VERY unhappy, evidently,and Alice would have said something pitying to comfort it, `If it wouldonly sigh like other people!' she thought. But this was such awonderfully small sigh, that she wouldn't have heard it at all, if it hadn'tcome QUITE close to her ear. The consequence of this was that it tickledher ear very much, and quite took off her thoughts from the unhappinessof the poor little creature.
`I know you are a friend, the little voice went on; `a dear friend, andan old friend. And you won't hurt me, though I AM an insect.'
`What kind of insect?' Alice inquired a little anxiously. What she really wanted to know was, whether it could sting or not, but she thoughtthis wouldn't be quite a civil question to ask.
`What, then you don't--' the little voice began, when it was drownedby a shrill scream from the engine, and everybody jumped up in alarm,Alice among the rest.
The Horse, who had put his head out of the window, quietly drew itin and said, `It's only a brook we have to jump over.' Everybody seemedsatisfied with this, though Alice felt a little nervous at the idea of trainsjumping at all. `However, it'll take us into the Fourth Square, that's somecomfort!' she said to herself. In another moment she felt the carriage risestraight up into the air, and in her fright she caught at the thing nearest toher hand. which happened to be the Goat's beard.
* * * * * * ** * * * * ** * * * * * *But the beard seemed to melt away as she touched it, and she foundherself sitting quietly under a tree--while the Gnat (for that was the insectshe had been talking to) was balancing itself on a twig just over her head,and fanning her with its wings.
It certainly was a VERY large Gnat: `about the size of a chicken,'
Alice thought. Still, she couldn't feel nervous with it, after they had beentalking together so long.
`--then you don't like all insects?' the Gnat went on, as quietly as ifnothing had happened.
`I like them when they can talk,' Alice said. `None of them evertalk, where _I_ come from.'
`What sort of insects do you rejoice in, where YOU come from?' theGnat inquired.
`I don't REJOICE in insects at all,' Alice explained, `because I'mrather afraid of them--at least the large kinds. But I can tell you thenames of some of them.'
`Of course they answer to their names?' the Gnat remarkedcarelessly.
`I never knew them do it.'
`What's the use of their having names the Gnat said, `if they won'tanswer to them?'
`No use to THEM,' said Alice; `but it's useful to the people whoname them, I suppose. If not, why do things have names at all?'
`I can't say,' the Gnat replied. `Further on, in the wood down there,they've got no names--however, go on with your list of insects: you'rewasting time.'
`Well, there's the Horse-fly,' Alice began, counting off the names onher fingers.
`All right,' said the Gnat: `half way up that bush, you'll see aRocking-horse-fly, if you look. It's made entirely of wood, and getsabout by swinging itself from branch to branch.'
`What does it live on?' Alice asked, with great curiosity.
`Sap and sawdust,' said the Gnat. `Go on with the list.'
Alice looked up at the Rocking-horse-fly with great interest, andmade up her mind that it must have been just repainted, it looked so brightand sticky; and then she went on.
`And there's the Dragon-fly.'
`Look on the branch above your head,' said the Gnat, `and thereyou'll find a snap-dragon-fly. Its body is made of plum-pudding, itswings of holly-leaves, and its head is a raisin burning in brandy.'
`And what does it live on?'
`Frumenty and mince pie,' the Gnat replied; `and it makes its nest ina Christmas box.'
`And then there's the Butterfly,' Alice went on, after she had taken agood look at the insect with its head on fire, and had thought to herself, `Iwonder if that's the reason insects are so fond of flying into candles-because they want to turn into Snap-dragon-flies!'
`Crawling at your feet,' said the Gnat (Alice drew her feet back insome alarm), `you may observe a Bread-and-Butterfly. Its wings are thinslices of Bread-and-butter, its body is a crust, and its head is a lump ofsugar.'
`And what does IT live on?'
`Weak tea with cream in it.'
A new difficulty came into Alice's head. `Supposing it couldn'tfind any?' she suggested.
`Then it would die, of course.'
`But that must happen very often,' Alice remarked thoughtfully.
`It always happens,' said the Gnat.
After this, Alice was silent for a minute or two, pondering. The Gnatamused itself meanwhile by humming round and round her head: at lastit settled again and remarked, `I suppose you don't want to lose yourname?'
`No, indeed,' Alice said, a little anxiously.
`And yet I don't know,' the Gnat went on in a careless tone: `onlythink how convenient it would be if you could manage to go home withoutit! For instance, if the governess wanted to call you to your lessons, shewould call out "come here--," and there she would have to leave off,because there wouldn't be any name for her to call, and of course youwouldn't have to go, you know.'
`That would never do, I'm sure,' said Alice: `the governess wouldnever think of excusing me lessons for that. If she couldn't remember myname, she'd call me "Miss!" as the servants do.'
`Well. if she said "Miss," and didn't say anything more,' the Gnatremarked, `of course you'd miss your lessons. That's a joke. I wishYOU had made it.'
`Why do you wish _I_ had made it?' Alice asked. `It's a very badone.'
But the Gnat only sighed deeply, while two large tears came rollingdown its cheeks.
`You shouldn't make jokes,' Alice said, `if it makes you so unhappy.'
Then came another of those melancholy little sighs, and this timethe poor Gnat really seemed to have sighed itself away, for, when Alicelooked up, there was nothing whatever to be seen on the twig, and, as shewas getting quite chilly with sitting still so long, she got up and walkedon.
She very soon came to an open field, with a wood on the other sideof it: it looked much darker than the last wood, and Alice felt a LITTLE timid about going into it. However, on second thoughts, she made up hermind to go on: `for I certainly won't go BACK,' she thought to herself,and this was the only way to the Eighth Square.
`This must be the wood, she said thoughtfully to herself, `wherethings have no names. I wonder what'll become of MY name when I goin? I shouldn't like to lose it at all--because they'd have to give meanother, and it would be almost certain to be an ugly one. But then thefun would be trying to find the creature that had got my old name! That'sjust like the advertisements, you know, when people lose dogs-"ANSWERS TO THE NAME OF `DASH:' HAD ON A BRASSCOLLAR"--just fancy calling everything you met "Alice," till one of themanswered! Only they wouldn't answer at all, if they were wise.'
She was rambling on in this way when she reached the wood: itlooked very cool and shady. `Well, at any rate it's a great comfort,' shesaid as she stepped under the trees, `after being so hot, to get into the--intoWHAT?' she went on, rather surprised at not being able to think of theword. `I mean to get under the--under the--under THIS, you know!'
putting her hand on the trunk of the tree. `What DOES it call itself, Iwonder? I do believe it's got no name--why, to be sure it hasn't!'
She stood silent for a minute, thinking: then she suddenly beganagain. `Then it really HAS happened, after all! And now, who am I?
I WILL remember, if I can! I'm determined to do it!' But beingdetermined didn't help much, and all she could say, after a great deal ofpuzzling, was, `L, I KNOW it begins with L!'
Just then a Fawn came wandering by: it looked at Alice with itslarge gentle eyes, but didn't seem at all frightened. `Here then! Herethen!' Alice said, as she held out her hand and tried to stroke it; but it onlystarted back a little, and then stood looking at her again.
`What do you call yourself?' the Fawn said at last. Such a softsweet voice it had!
`I wish I knew!' thought poor Alice. She answered, rather sadly,`Nothing, just now.'
`Think again,' it said: `that won't do.'
Alice thought, but nothing came of it. `Please, would you tell me what YOU call yourself?' she said timidly. `I think that might help alittle.'
`I'll tell you, if you'll move a little further on,' the Fawn said. `I can'tremember here.'
So they walked on together though the wood, Alice with her armsclasped lovingly round the soft neck of the Fawn, till they came out intoanother open field, and here the Fawn gave a sudden bound into the air,and shook itself free from Alice's arms. `I'm a Fawn!' it cried out in a voiceof delight, `and, dear me! you're a human child!' A sudden look of alarmcame into its beautiful brown eyes, and in another moment it had dartedaway at full speed.
Alice stood looking after it, almost ready to cry with vexation athaving lost her dear little fellow-traveller so suddenly. `However, I knowmy name now.' she said, `that's SOME comfort. Alice--Alice--I won'tforget it again. And now, which of these finger-posts ought I to follow, Iwonder?'
It was not a very difficult question to answer, as there was only oneroad through the wood, and the two finger-posts both pointed along it.
`I'll settle it,' Alice said to herself, `when the road divides and they pointdifferent ways.'
But this did not seem likely to happen. She went on and on, a longway, but wherever the road divided there were sure to be two finger-postspointing the same way, one marked `TO TWEEDLEDUM'S HOUSE' andthe other `TO THE HOUSE OF TWEEDLEDEE.'
`I do believe,' said Alice at last, `that they live in the same house! Iwonder I never thought of that before--But I can't stay there long. I'll justcall and say "how d'you do?" and ask them the way out of the wood. If Icould only get to the Eighth Square before it gets dark!' So she wanderedon, talking to herself as she went, till, on turning a sharp corner, she cameupon two fat little men, so suddenly that she could not help starting back,but in another moment she recovered herself, feeling sure that they must be.
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