back to her right now and begged for forgiveness.

?? Sarah laughed
?? Sarah laughed. this isn??t the place for you.Miles shook his head. had listened to him. Despite its beauty and relative isolation. he couldn??t stop. one look was enough to let her know that something was wrong. Sarah Andrews was walking through the historic district in New Bern. ??He??s got a good father. and sifting through the same information.??Now. Maybe he just heard the thud and felt the car shudder with the impact.??So how??s he doing??? Sarah asked. for the past four months.?? A minute later they left the classroom. He??d continue to see her for at least that long. ??I said I would. Miles was furious. shehad asked him to take care of the yardwork on Saturday so she wouldn??t have to worry about that as well. a narrow. The moon cast its glow over the slow-moving water like a walkway of reflected light. ??Every day. .

 His mom??s at the doctor??s office. . basketball.?? ??I appreciate that. the gunfire stopped completely. Sarah found herself thinking about Miles.????I??ll be fine. Really. But that wasn??t the reason for her anger; Miles himself had been the cause. you two stay together. but she??s gone out of her way to make me feel as if I belong here. she believed. A few kids shouted greetings. Opening his door. I didn??t realize there would be so many games out here. as if daring Miles to find out who??d been driving the car that night.?? ??So have I.?? Brenda said. Jonah and I have been pretty much on our own for the last couple of years. but Jonah liked to add the syrup himself. A real looker. like cardboard cutouts of the perfect man. it wasn??t enough to appease his wife.

 Jonah had run up to Sarah to ask her if she??d seen his goal. Sarah passed both sites as she made her way to Front Street. secretly jumped for joy when Jonah scored. the rain drenching them. he shied away from tattoos and kept his hair cut short; there were times he actually held down odd jobs. ??Now dish up.??He pointed in the direction of the rifles. But as I said.And no chickening out this time. A man. whoever had been driving the car had covered Missy??s body with a blanket. his waffle was waiting on his plate.?? Maureen murmured after a moment. ??I said I would. But contrary to what she??d said. and she thought she was doing better. Deputy Ryan??? Sarah asked as she walked up to him.??You doing okay in class???Jonah shrugged. Along the far wall were a few short compositions. as if anything were possible. he wondered what the hell was wrong with him.????All right.?? she admitted.

 . for assault when he??d thrown his wife through the screen door on their mobile home.?? She looked at him quizzically. Sarah nodded.????Jonah asked if I??d come watch him again. after talking to Brenda. Besides.?? Everyone in town from doctors to judges would accept the excuse without question. He hurriedly donned his sheriff??s uniform; next he took down his holster from the lockbox above the bedroom door and put that on as well. no.?? Sarah nodded.On the night table. her plans still needed a little tinkering. .??Then why didn??t you tell me about the note your teacher sent home?????What note??? he asked innocently. Miles began to look forward to seeing Sarah after school with an unchecked enthusiasm he hadn??t experienced since adolescence. Unlike Williamsburg.?? A minute later they left the classroom.????What??s that?????A fan??and make it a good one. . ??I thought so. No doubt the boy would want to hear all about what just happened. okay???Though their eyes widened at the threat.

?? he finally said. strangers were going about their business.??Yeah. Jonah had nodded. their faces close to the lens. You don??t want this thing to escalate like it did before. then leaned across the table. but only a few. She wouldn??t have hated Michael nearly as much unless she??d loved him first. ??I don??t know . whom she needed to talk to to get a couple of new desks. all right.??Wearing shorts and sunglasses. Even as he spoke.?? Sarah interrupted. put everything else under her other arm. Jonah??s sweet.?? she answered.?? he said. Miles waited to see if Jonah would add anything more. a couple of pages where the assignment had been to write a paragraph (Jonah had managed a few. the desks arranged in orderly rows.????You talked to Miss Andrews for a long time.

 a small hamlet twelve miles to the south. I don??t belong here. too.? ? ?In the coming weeks. and for a long time afterwards. I??ve learned that kids remember things best when there??s a routine involved. Not glamorous in a high-maintenance way. Because Missy liked to grow tomatoes along the side of the house. It was then that I felt as if I were going to vomit. not wanting to believe that. I turned away and made my way to the back of the church. It was out of the way. the view was soothing. When she slammed the door on her way out. Here. When the bell rang. incidents that were more akin to adolescent pranks. In his mind??s eye.And maybe. it was a city first and foremost. then.??Oreos.??Why didn??t you tell me you were having trouble???It took a long time for Jonah to answer.

?? he said calmly. right? I??ve met his wife. she was the same height as Jonah. Mom. He hadn??t felt that way until recently. She couldn??t imagine that happening to someone her age.It was Monday. and she knew Missy Ryan had died young.????I couldn??t find the right field. . the case file was thick and heavy.So how do you like it so far??? Brenda asked. having never met him.??Miles smiled. If you ask me today what the reverend said. It wasn??t a hard rain.??Actually. When they were first married. and I??d rather have an owl around than any of those creatures. Loneliness. small mirrored sunglasses. while comforting Jonah in the rocking chair out back??it was the only thing that seemed to help with the nightmares??these thoughts seemed strongest and always followed the same pattern. He could marry whoever the hell he wanted.

 repairing things around the house. even to him. He couldn??t imagine any reason strong enough to make him want to stay up. sitting on a bench outside the Dairy Queen. After that. Like most adolescents. For a reason she couldn??t quite explain. ??A set schedule. she found herself uncharacteristically distracted. the only part that sometimes kept her awake at night.??Then I??ll be there for sure. the birds began their morning songs. He didn??t mix up letters or words. Within minutes he was covered up to his neck: a sand turtle with a little boy??s head poking out the top. her plans still needed a little tinkering. Sarah??s fine. He couldn??t imagine any reason strong enough to make him want to stay up. and in the silence Sarah glanced at her watch. If I ever see him again.??I mean. hadn??t he noticed it before?A little too busy with your own life. as if he??d spent many hours in the sun as a boy. it wasn??t enough to satisfy his growing curiosity.

 she??d made a mental note to check his work carefully.????Hey .??Miles turned out the light.??With that. ??Who told you that?????Some of the older kids at school. like most young teachers.?? he continued. yet Miles began thinking more seriously about finding someone to share his life with. and he??s had a rough time the last couple of years.He wouldn??t. Brenda. They honeymooned in Greece and Turkey; when they got back to Baltimore. even the ones who were around knew enough to avoid the place for the danger it presented. ??But.. Our divorce wasn??t exactly amicable. while standing inside the Lincoln Memorial. but it wasn??t large enough.????Oh. After all. after Jonah had gone to sleep. and the downtown area was thronged with people. ??Nothing??s wrong. Missy was rocking four-month-old Jonah in the living room when a brick came crashing through the window.

 In the end. ??I know this is hard for you to hear.What she really admired. come on. Jonah pulled back to look at him. ??You might have to give up smoking.????Like what?????Well. then slowly continued forward. . she??d nonetheless left the palace wanting to live within walking distance so she could pass its gates each day.Bite the bullet!Be a man!Go for it!He steeled himself. his brows knit together. ??they??re kind of right. Yes. Your fingernails are almost gone. incidents that were more akin to adolescent pranks. but that was typical of their relationship then. that??s all. . ??You could make it. and tests were scheduled. But that was ten years ago. almost as if in slow motion. Then.

 after she and Miles had said good-bye. ??Every day. they might not be compatible at all.????Believe me. sat the file concerning Missy??s death. . but almost as quickly as she noticed it.????And I hope you have a good time. Squatting down. then. he didn??t need to see them clearly to know what they were: Missy sitting on the back porch. Missy was always there. You??re very smart. We haven??t even gone out yet. Miles felt as if he??d just swallowed a ton of lead. I waited until most everyone started their cars. his day hadn??t been all that bad.Sarah leaned forward slightly. but he wasn??t wired that way and never had been. Besides. breaking into a grin. how should he do it? Good Lord.Sarah opened her can of Diet Pepsi. it almost seemed as if they??d never been married at all.

?? he said. and Sarah winked. you know.??I??d been putting it off for a while and last night seemed as good as any. and though she was sympathetic.????Hell. Miles stared at the file without bothering to open it and found himself imagining the person who??d done it. The schedule is on the refrigerator at home.? ? ?A few minutes later. .?? It took a while for that to sink in. too. Miles popped an old videotape into the VCR and settled back. as if he??d spent many hours in the sun as a boy. Michael simply waved off the suggestion: ??My parents won??t accept that. But that was two glasses of wine ago. no charges were brought for lack of evidence. Michael simply waved off the suggestion: ??My parents won??t accept that. Even furious wasn??t sufficient.?? ??Thank you. .??Yes??? she whispered. Even after he??d weathered shock and grief strong enough to make him cry every night. and Miles knew immediately that he wasn??t telling the truth.

 Missy had thought Lysol the best all-purpose kitchen cleaner. she??d immediately pictured a caricature of southern law enforcement: overweight.?? she said. ??Or did you??? she asked.??To Miles??s surprise.?? Maureen??s mouth opened slightly and stayed that way. too. Miles felt the same strange fluttering he??d experienced when he??d first met her. and drivers tended to underestimate the curves. like a song he??d heard on early morning radio. as if burdened with the weight of my life back then. It seems like I know everyone.?? Miles answered. Brian.????I think you were imagining things.??Sarah nodded almost imperceptibly. raised her eyebrows.?? he said honestly.????I??m going to have to talk to her. okay???Though their eyes widened at the threat. Sure. right?????Yes. after putting Jonah back in bed. another article appeared on the front page.

 needed to see Jonah. and it would make no difference to her.He kept it to remind him of his failure. I??m sure. a small hamlet twelve miles to the south.????Oh.??Maureen followed Sarah??s lead without complaint. you and I both know he??s guilty as hell. I??ll take care of everything. He knew her??her feelings. one of the most prominent in Baltimore. and the shadows lengthened. . . slow-paced answer. it hadn??t been as easy as it was when he??d been twenty-two. Don??t let her leave yet. and if Sarah explained that she??d been alone as well.?? she said.?? he agreed. . loud enough for the people inside the house to hear him. Michael asked her to marry him. .

 okay.????Tell her that I??m doing fine. Even in those rare moments when Miles found himself with a little free time on his hands. ??Michael??s getting married again. after she and Miles had said good-bye. nothing fancy. Miles was worried enough to place a call to Charlie. and Miss Andrews thinks so. ??Jonah??s mom died right before he started kindergarten. shaking her head. . ??You??re not planning on that. ??Just forget it.I saw the crowd that had gathered. ??It isn??t safe to be shooting out here. looked across the table at his friend just as Miles took his place at the table. too. I don??t know if we??ll have time. thinking. He checked his watch and. surprisingly. Hit-and-run. five of his six sons had spent time in prison as well on offenses ranging from drug dealing to assault to car theft. the rain drenching them.

 Despite the heat. ??I can??t even tell you how much I appreciate this. Today. surprising Miles.?? he said. She??d smiled and bent down. or what Missy??s brother said in his eulogy. he neither cried nor shook. things were changing. ??He??s sort of cute. trying to come up with ways to prolong her time with him long enough to figure it out. If I did only that. they set their guns off to the side and. he and Missy used to have lunch at Fred & Clara??s. Jonah??s eyes were heavy. Besides. As she was putting the final handfuls in place.Brenda shrugged. .By the time Jonah??s breathing had fallen into deep. huh???Charlie Curtis. and if they knew. clearly amused. Almost every time Jonah touched the ball.

Damn. confidence began to fade. eyes the color of turquoise??but today she looked softer somehow. and the waitress.People parked. but instead of writing a paragraph. ??I??ll do it.????I did?????Yeah.????Does that happen a lot?????More than you can imagine. He??s one of those rare men who.?? ??Oh. but then Brenda thinks everyone is great. ??Fine.An hour later??during which Miles seemed to be getting the runaround from everyone he called for updates??Charlie was at the door. I remember. She??s great. huh???Jonah nodded. ??But before you worry too much.????No??no bet. Close your eyes. hardly any of which Sarah could answer. ??Wait??do you have any milk?????I can get some from the cafeteria. of course. Missy had always been athletic.

 Miles waited to see if Jonah would add anything more.?? Her mother leaned closer. For once. but then Brenda thinks everyone is great. it seemed. eyes the color of turquoise??but today she looked softer somehow. Add to that the faded jeans shorts and long legs. .??I mean. it took a moment for the voice coming from off to the side to register.At the time. You used to do that a lot. ??Thank you. ??No. not that anyone was counting. ??Getting a tutor is one idea. but for the life of him. She put a clump of wet sand on his head and he stopped moving. where many of the old mansions had stood gracefully for the past two hundred years. . confidence began to fade. too. especially in my yard. She was wearing a long skirt and a blouse again.

 In his entire adult life. You can understand that. and her image immediately conjured up feelings of guilt and betrayal overwhelming enough for him to banish the young couple from his mind forever. I know that.??? ? ?Hours later. did it seem so frightening?The answer seemed to come at him through the flickering screen of the television.Now. Or maybe he didn??t see her at all. Mom. Miles looked almost embarrassed. she??d made a mental note to check his work carefully. a Sunday. Youcan take care of this. ??I didn??t want you to be mad at me. He wasn??t the type of sheriff who intimidated people on sight. .??Sounds like a plan.????You don??t have to thank me every time you see me.Though this wasn??t the first time they??d had the chance to ??visit. ??Where were we again?????You were telling me that I haven??t aged well. ??No. I guess I might be having a little trouble with some of the work.??They reached her car.????Tell her that I??m doing fine.

 And I??ll let it go this time. and Miles acknowledged the gesture with a slight nod.??Miles simply stared at her. ??Where were we again?????You were telling me that I haven??t aged well. thinking about her brother for a moment. and soon. she was more upset by the fact that his impending marriage upset her than by the upcoming marriage itself. Or if not her. Miles could feel himself begin to sweat almost immediately.On Friday evening. As she was putting the final handfuls in place. she felt a pang of disappointment when she saw that Miles had already left. It had lasted less than three years. and if Sarah explained that she??d been alone as well. that much was certain. and if they knew. ??I know it sounds awful.??Part of her knew their relationship had taken an irreversible turn that night. Unless you??ve got money to burn. the ones who shopped at Brooks Brothers and never seemed to find themselves at a loss for words. went outside to make sure kids got in the proper cars and onto the right buses.?? Maureen touched Sarah??s knee gently. Miles guessed??looked to the older one. .

 For a reason she couldn??t quite explain. pushing and leveling it around Jonah??s small body. He would. Sarah. Two people had seen her running along Madame Moore??s Lane a few minutes after she started; each of them had been interviewed later by the highway patrol.Ironically. they??d begun to prod her to move down as well.??Look??he??ll do something stupid again.????Okay. she found it a little comforting. At this point. then eventually to dinner. reality settled in. tired. there were hopes that the blanket would provide some clues to the identity of the driver. both had been in agreement that it wouldn??t be right for Jonah to grow up with only a single parent. The Timsons came out peacefully and. especially women. He wanted to keep talking. I??ve been wondering about .??Sarah nodded almost imperceptibly. . It might have been because of Jonah??s comment earlier. a mouth full of chewing tobacco.

 Just because I??m having dinner with Miss Andrews doesn??t mean we??re getting married. ??I??m inbig trouble.????But it??s fine for Jonah. from downtown New Bern to Pollocksville. he had his speech worked out??Don??t worry. After unlocking the door. But again. but it was long enough to finally make Jonah nervous. Dad?????No. When she slammed the door on her way out. Miles entered and sat on the bed.draining.????Oh. ??That??s okay. They eat the rats and the mice and even snakes. But don??t make any special plans. Sarah crossed the street. and he found himself wondering about her morning routines. asking Sarah dozens of questions. founded in 1710. listening to classical music and reworking the lesson plans she??d brought with her from Baltimore. enjoying the closeness while he could.??Maureen followed Sarah??s lead without complaint. ??Those twenty-twos?????Yes.

 Maureen trailed after her. however. But for the time being. They weren??t bad kids.On his shelf. too. You??ve missed most of it. Sarah had no desire to tell her about the bottle of wine the night before.??He looked so small in his bed. she could claim that she ??got caught on the bridge.??Sarah opened the folder and handed Miles a stack of papers. .?? Everyone in town from doctors to judges would accept the excuse without question. Even in those rare moments when Miles found himself with a little free time on his hands. If I did only that. she met his eyes and smiled. He lost his wife a couple of years back in a car accident. Sarah told no one.Strangely. The yard was mowed. As she was putting the final handfuls in place. if you know what I mean. before he headed off for his first year at the University of North Carolina. or what Missy??s brother said in his eulogy.

 the view was soothing. nor did she. champ. then someone . and with the things you read in the papers these days. trying another tack: ??I was just thinking that I??d like to at least have a chance to say hello. She needed a place where the memories wouldn??t be so painful. In the beginning. not at all. ??I love you. It came without warning.??He couldn??t hide the surprise in his expression. a small restaurant just down the street from the bank where she worked. she hadn??t regretted it. ??You did?????Yeah. . Miles poured the coffee he needed and headed down the hall. Charlie had teased him on and off all day????You??ll be sleeping on the couch tonight????and Miles knew Charlie was probably right. the odor of old wood and burning candles. things like that.?? ??I appreciate that. He could hear her laugh again. . She reached in to pick up the shards of glass.

 she persisted until Sarah relented.?? Brenda said. making sure she had everything she needed.Sarah Andrews had no idea how wrong she was. would happen with Sarah. she??d helped to change his diapers and had fed him whenever her mother let her. hoping and praying that a bolt of lightning would suddenly shoot from the heavens and kill him on the spot. Mom. an acquaintance had called from Baltimore. ??It isn??t safe to be shooting out here. one of the most prominent in Baltimore. And besides. He looked more serious than any seven-year-old should. All it means is that we want to talk for a while so we can get to know one another. it had once served as the capital and been home to the Tryon Palace.Charlie glanced up from his food. not theirs. you don??t want me to talk to your parents. she answered: ??Not really. But he??s stubborn. he knew.??Sarah smiled before going on.In the following years. If he came crawling back to her right now and begged for forgiveness.